Marriage (Relationship) Counseling

You can make your marriage work. It is not too late. Marriage counseling, sometimes called "couples therapy" is an opportunity to interact with a professional who will not judge or criticize, but who has the experience, willingness and the courage to tell you the truth. First, we focus on specifically defining and "diagnosing" where your relationship is now, and what part each of you play. We examine and take inventory of what is not working, and the thinking, perceptions, and attitudes that sustain the problem. Each partner takes an honest look at their own issues, some of them dating back to the family of origin. Chances are you are going to find plenty of things to work on in yourself before you ever get to focus on your partner! In order to be able to start shaping your relationship into what you want it to be, you're going to need to understand how and why the things you've been doing are not working. Next we set specific goals to assist you in reconnecting with each other and look at ways to manage and maintain what you've learned. Sound interesting? There is hope. You and your partner can begin working to get what you want, stop the pain, and create more love, peace, and joy in your marriage. Make the appointment.

Premarital Counseling

Premarital therapy or premarital "couples counseling" generally takes 4 to 6 sessions (once weekly) and can reduce the risk of divorce by up to thirty percent and lead to a significantly happier marriage, according to marriage research. It can also reduce the stress of the pre-wedding period. A reasonable investment of time and energy now can make your odds a whole lot better over the long run. You want to do everything you can to ensure that your dreams of a great marriage and a great life are realized. Research also shows there is an important window of opportunity the year before the wedding and about six months or so after when couples obtain maximum benefit from pre-marriage counseling. We will look at compatibility, communication patterns, examine strengths, and identify potential roadblocks to your success. We will also complete a "genogram" on each partner--a visual map of your family of origin--much like a family tree. The purpose of the genogram is to examine family dynamics that impact your present day beliefs about relationships. Premarital counseling is a fantastic investment in your future as a couple. Call to schedule an appointment

Adultery, Affairs, Infidelity and Cheating

One of the biggest destroyers of marriage is when one or both partners takes their sexuality outside of the marriage. Adultery, Affairs, Infidelity, Cheating -- No matter what you call it, nothing damages a relationship or hurts quite as bad as finding out the person you love has cheated. Infidelity doesn't always involve sex. When a person engages in any kind of romatic, sexual expression or intimacy outside the marriage, a breach of faith occurs, causing damage to the relationship. Some examples of this breach are: secret internet or texting affairs (private chatting or emailing), pornography, fantasy crushes, emotional affairs (intimate talking but no sex). While people who engage in these practices are not actually having extramarital sex per se, they are purposely directing romantic or sexual energy outside of their relationship. These activities often begin innocently enough. While they may not have all of the same repercussions as physical adultery, they still betray the other person and the relationship. Dishonesty, deception, and unfaithful behavior are generally symptoms of a greater problem that exists in the relationship. Intimacy suffers, walls are built, sexual desire goes away, interest vanishes, and isolation insues.

The good news is that an affair doesn't necessarily mean the end of the marriage. If you are willing to give counseling a chance, your marriage can recover from infidelity. It's takes a serious commitment and a willingness on both sides to take a hard look at themselves, the marriage, and talk openly about what's been going on. It takes getting honest with yourself and each other and telling it like it is. If you want things to be different and you're not ready to give up on your marriage, then contact me and make an appointment.